i failed at raising a tamagotchi how the fuck am i supposed to raise a child

(via succeeding)


how do i achieve immortality and perfect eyebrows

(Source: elliecyrah, via succeeding)


girls who can run in heels should be feared

(via perks-of-being-chinese)


having only 2 friends in class you have to pair up with and they choose eachother image

(Source: 911official, via succeeding)

As your girlfriend, I will make it my duty to turn you on at the most inappropriate of times.

(Source: whotoldyouu, via mattyxnicholls)

100% sure im ugly as hell and yet I still expect to be in a relationship with a hot person

(via perks-of-being-chinese)


seeing your crush like 

(via jimmycroutons)


My dad would tell me that when we were little and people would say to him “wow, four daughters, that’s a lot of weddings to pay for” (because traditionally the bride’s family would pay for the wedding), my dad would respond with “well, we’re hoping at least one of them will be gay so we can split the cost with the other bride’s family”
He said people never knew how to respond

(via jimmycroutons)

  • tumblr staff: [takes huge bong hit] lets just... lets... you know what we need... lets just change shit

Chairs that rock are fucking fun when ur wasted.